Hi Donna

I'm so sorry that you lost your Mum to pancreatic cancer, my Uncle has recently been diagnosed with it and know how hard a journey it's been for him so far.
I lost my Mum to bladder cancer back in December and can totally relate to everything you say about the guilt you feel about your Dad. It's so hard, especially when you're trying to grieve for your Mum. 

Im still trying to work out how not to feel guilty to be honest and how to juggle work and caring for my dad and having a life of my own. My Dad was diagnosed with cancer a few months after my mum passed so it's been a bit of a whirlwind and I've often wondered if I should be moving back in at times as hate he's having to go through treatment without my Mum there.

We do need to try and live our own lives though as our parents would want as well as try and deal with our grief. Its not easy though. I just try and see my Dad as often as I can, speak to him everyday, encourage him to see friends etc. You're still in such early days at the moment so I'm sure you'll find your own routine and way of doing things and hopefully you and your Dad have a good support network around you to take some of the strain.  
 

People have said to me many times in the last few months that I need to take care of myself so that I can be a good support to my Dad, so be kind to yourself and make time for yourself when you can as it's so important for processing your loss as well as all the other rollercoaster of feelings that come up. 

Take care of yourself.

Kat