My Mum passed away in May too, Mum was a young 86 year old, she loved life, we travelled to India and Pakistan when she was in her 80s. I'm so sorry you have lost your Dad to cancer too. Its horrenduous. I absolutely hate it when people imply or even say that their age makes it seem somehow more 'acceptable'. It doesn't. My Mum was my life. Simple as that. We lived and worked together for 10 years in my business in Scotland then the remaining 8 years lived together in Devon. Mum was my everything. I (sadly) couldn't have children and Mum helped fill that gap in my life, she was my best friend, my confidant, my adviser, my family, my world. How do you replace this? I am struggling daily and to be honest each day its getting worse for me at the moment not better. I know how you are feeling.

All I can say is we have had no choice in this life changing event and nothing we can do will change it, grieving someone is the hardest thing but we have to keep going because they wanted to live and they wanted us to live. Do it for them and us. There are no easy short cuts through this, no easy paths that make the grief ease off quicker. It will take time. We loved them all our life so the grief has to represent that love. I am finding doing a few things that Mum and I liked to do together helps for a bit like gardening, taking my dog for a walk, reading etc. If you can try and take your mind of everything even for a short while. Take things day by day, hour by hour. I talk out loud to my Mum every day, it comforts me to do so. I am going to try writing my feelings and thinking down too. I miss her so much it literally feels as if my heart could break. We were together every day. Sometimes its too overwhelming thinking of the rest of my life never seeing her again, and her age doesn't change that because I feel young at 47 years of age to lose my Mum too. I know so many people lose their parents in childhood and 20s, 30s so I do know I'm blessed to have had my Mum for as long I have but to be honest it still feels not enough at times, I guess thats human nature.

Please remember your Dad would have wanted you to continue living your life as best as you can. I hope there is an afterlife and we are together again once day. Take care.

Jane