My true love passed away 2 years ago. The greif has become much worse over time. I take things day by day but it feels unnatural to be continually tortured by so much pain.
I am sorry you lost your true love and 2 years have since passed and your grief has become worse. I am only 6 weeks since my whole world - my Mum whom was my everything - passed away. I too am feeling worse each day and I can well believe that time is not always the healer they say it is, grief is different for everyone and the journey through it is unique to us all.
2 years to me is still early days, we have spent our every moment loving someone for them to go from our life, to me it is also an unnatural state and quite mind blowing to accept and process. Yes it is a pain like torture to me too, I can completely understand what you are saying. Some days I honestly feel I can't cope with the pain I feel and I wonder how to continue, if I were to sit and think about it too much indepth I think I would have the biggest panic attack.
What can we do? There is no concrete answer to this. Grief is something I am learning about it, there is no fast forward, no short cuts, no easy way to feeling better (or thats the case with my feelings anyway). Its a process for me that is day by day, sometimes hour by hour. I cry, I think too much, I feel blessed to have had her in my life and I try to keep going. The support and messages on this forum help because I don't feel alone in my situation. So many of us are treading the same path that just by reaching out I think in some small way we help each other.
Keep going. Find some joy in your week if you can that reminds you of your true love. Know that they would want you to smile again, they would wish us to find some hope and joy as we would wish the same for them. I still hold on to the fact somehow Mum is still watching over me, I just can't see her.
Thank you so much for taking the time to send me such thoughtful words. I really appreciate it.
The last two years have also had a strange subtle beauty hidden in their hours. One thing I have learned and can tell you for certain - is that your beautiful Mum is with you and is holding your hand every step of the way. I promise you that.
I hope that just knowing that there are so many of us feeling as you do and sharing similar feelings/thoughts will support you in some way.
I was intrigued by your saying there has been a strange beauty hidden in the hours of the last two years, if you feel able to I would appreciate you sharing further what you found this to be. I still talk out loud to my Mum and I can't see that ever stopping. I really have to believe she is with me, we had an unbreakable bond, devotion, love and friendship that death just couldn't put an end to so I do hold onto the hope that one day we will be reunited again.
