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I cant stop seeing the images of my dad dying

Shauna2233
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My dad had lung cancer and had a lobectomy, the right lung what was left was too damaged and they told us he wouldn't be coming home, the day I went to visit him, the doctor came and said he had been talking to my dad over the weekend and my dad had asked for the oxygen to be removed. I didn't even have time to process what was about to happen it just happened there and then he has a whiskey through a straw then removed the oxygen hood. I had to sit and hold his hand and just watch the life drain out of him and struggle for every last breath, I constantly relive that day in my head I can't sleep a couple of hours a night it's just always on my mind. I was really close with my dad as he's brought me up since I was 8 after my mam lost her battle with leukemia 

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    That is terrible. I am sorry you had to to through it. Try to think of where it all led - to your dad no longer being in pain and suffering. I am sure it was very hard to see it but te to focus on the peace he has now.

    I am sorry for your loss. Time will also help with images. 

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    I had a similar situation with watching my dad die of a head cancer 11 years ago and I ended up with ptsd. Insomnia, nightmares, developed phobias, anxiety etc. I really recommend counselling - you've had so much to process in such a short space of time. It helped me enormously to talk and have someone listen without judgement or trying to tell me "he's in a better place", or trying to rush me to "move on"... whatever that means. I managed to find counselling with a charity, donation only  x

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    Hi Shauna,

    So sorry to read your post and for the loss of your Dad, I can completely understand what your going through. My Mum had lung cancer and was in hospital for the last week of her life with covid Pneumonia. Watching my Mum die and the things I witnessed in her last day/night have haunted me every since. I have tried to replace these images with others but naturally the last days of those we love are going to be the most prominent images/memories at the moment. I am reliving everything and I am finding it all so traumatic. Some of it I have blocked out I think because I am struggling to remember conversations we had earlier in the week, it all as left me deeply sad for my sweet, brave Mum. All I can say is I understand and I really don't know what the answer is, maybe time will ease these memories and we will start to think more of happier ones. Its early days right now. We need to be kind to ourselves. 

    Jane

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