Hi all- in March 2020, just as the world was going into lockdown, my husband was diagnosed with terminal cancer of the oesophagus that had spread to the liver aged just 39.  We spend 2 years pretty much in isolation with my husband suffering from chemo, he was allergic to the drugs and every round ended up with an ambulance and a trip To a&e.  Boxing Day was another stay in hospital and we were told it had sadly spread to his lungs.  After this is was a pretty much downward spiral.  10th March I called the ambulance as he could hardly breath- fluid on the lungs- 2 weeks in hospital and the worst treatment ever to the point I sat with him for 10 hours a day. , I managed to get him Moved to an amazing hospice where sadly on 7th April he breathed his last breath surround by family.

His funeral was 3rd May and I've spend a couple of weeks with my Dad in Scotland which was lovely . I came back Sunday and am now feel a bit lost.  Today would have been our 4th wedding anniversary- we have been together since we were 17. I am Celebrating  in style tonight with champers and cooking me Beef wellington. I have lots of family and friends- I guess the last couple years and months have finally caught up with me.

I know this will take time to get over and I know Mark would want me to be as happy as I can be, I'm a positive person and this is what has got us through everything but just thought I would reach out who have been through what I am going through.

I lost my Mum in 2013 to cancer and MIL in October 2021 but losing a husband is so much different x