We had dads funeral last Tuesday. The weeks leading to it have been a blur, yet I was so worried about how I may feel after the day. My fears came true, I was feeling horrific and like my world had ended already, I didn't think I could feel worse, but I am.
His funeral was incredible, hundreds came, Which proves being a lovely kind helpful person is worth it as he touched so many hearts.
My number one need was to carry him in, that was hard, and I some how managed to read my tribute to him. So pleased I did that too.
But things have got worse since then, it seemed the funeral made everything very real. I have to be honest, I can't carry on feeling like this, we had such a complex close bond and my childhood was quite difficult for no fault of my own, but he was my hero through it all. I've worked with him and the family business for the last 5 years. That's going as it's too hard without him. I'm talking to people but I feel so alone with the scary thoughts going round in my head... I feel scarred if my own mind and thoughts because I know I can't go on in life with so much pain.
people say "time helps"
I sure hope it does.
