Hi, 

I just thought I would come on here and see if anyone is in a similar situation and how they cope through grief.

My mum was diagnosed with cancer in 2020, she recieved treatment and had 3 months check up for a year  which all went well - had mri scans of the pelvis and internal examination which all came back clear. 

Other than the cancer diagnosis my mum had always been fit and healthy literally went to the doctors like 3 times her whole like so being diagnosed with cancer and seeing her poorly was a big shock - but she bounced back really quickly after treatment and was back to her usual self. 

Fast forward to may she started feeling unwell, a little lump on the back of her head n just feeling off in herself ao went to the gp and they said it was an infected cyst given antibiotics gor a week but by the time the week was up she was nolonger better and was constantly being sick so they gave her anti sickness and did some bloods which came back normal - the sickness and unwellness carried on and one day she looked awful I took her to a&e which they gave her fluids and bloods again sent home - as the days went on she became that weak she couldn't get out of bed, couldnr even keep water down and had a massive headache so again gp visit which he then admitted her to hospital gor a camera to see why she was being sick - took her to get a phone call to say they couldn't do it as agter 5pm so had to bring her home, which I asked how long she would be waiting and they said up to two week soni gave them a peace of my mind n actually wrote a complaint in. No improvement over the weekend snd this point she fell out bed and her head so rang the gp again and they came to the house n got her an ambulance and sent her in with a suspected blockage in the bowel. She was in hospital tor 4 day in total which we couldn't visit due to covid whenever we rang they say she was fine just sleeping they was keeping her in over the weekend to keep an eye on her. Monday came by and we got a phone call sayinf we needed to go in ASAP. When arriving to the hospital my mum was unresponsive on machine and we got sat down and told she was dying and we needed to say our good bye.

She died from cancer in the lungs which had spread to her liver, lymph nodes and had a massive brain tumor I can't understand how she could be so I'll in hospital for 4 days and them not having a clue what was wrong. The care recievee whilst at the hospital was absolutely shocking also.

But it's nearly a year now since she passed away and I don't fell like I have grieved at all I just still feel numb and I'm still kinda angry. I don't cry much about it, I'm just wondering how people cope with loosing a loved one like their mum