My mum passed away today

Today my mum passed away, she was diagnosed with Lymphoma around two years ago, she fought so hard but last month we got the diagnosis that it's terminal and there's nothing else the doctors could do. She's been in good spirits, she said she wasn't ready to die, she fought so hard trying numerous different herbal remedies. Unfortunately in the last two weeks she started getting weaker and weaker she was sent to a hospice on Tuesday as she felt unsafe being at home as she lost the ability in her legs. I recieved a phone call this morning from the hospice to say she's deteriorated then sadly she passed away at 3 o'clock today. I just can't imagine a life without her, I'm 27 and we've been so close for as long as i remember. Is it possible to just get on with your life when a part of you is missing?

  • Hello Georgina1994, 

    I am so sorry for your loss. Sincere condolences on behalf of the Cancer Chat team. Our thoughts are with you and your family during this difficult time. 

    You have come to the right place though to talk to others who have also sadly lost a loved one to cancer recently and I hope that it will help you  to come here whenever you feel the need to reach out to others who understand what you are going through. 

    When you feel ready, there is information on our website on coping with grief which I hope will be useful to you and will help you understand the complex range of feelings and emotions you may experience during the grieving process. 

    We're thinking of you and your loved ones during this challenging time and just wanted you to know that we are all there for you at any time.

    Best wishes, 

    Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

  • I am terribly sorry for the loss of your mum.

    The pain you feel right now is unbearable and I'm so sad and so sorry you are experiencing this. Cancer is so cruel and nothing can prepare you for this.

    The way you describe your mum fighting this to the end, she had such strength and spirit. You have only just lost your mum and you need to grieve and share your loss. Don't keep anything bottled in, just let it out. The day after my mum passed I had to speak to the Macmillan bereavement line, which helped. Following that I spoke to a counsellor for a few months. 

    You will get on with your life and you will feel 'better',  but you will never be the same again. You were so close to your mum and it's clear you had so much love for one another, hold on to those memories. You'll feel broken, but please always remind yourself how much your mum loved you and how she wanted you to live your life fully. 

    Do come on here and talk or talk elsewhere, please don't bottle it up. Sending you love and comfort xxx

  • Hello Georgina.  First of all, please accept my condolences for the loss of your mother.  To answer your question, I can tell you that yes, it IS possible to get on with your life when a part of you is missing, but first of all, you must allow yourself to grieve, which means cry whenever you want to.  Don't hold it in, let your pain out.  I was 33 when I lost my mother to cancer, so I know exactly how you feel.  Georgina, what I can tell you is this:  You will never COMPLETELY get over the loss of your mother, because the mother-child bond is so strong that when we lose our mums, there is a void left behind that no-one else can fill, BUT you WILL be happy again, I promise you.  Such a profound loss isn't something we get over.......it is something we get through.  There will come a day when the raw, unbearable grief fades away to be replaced by a kind of acceptance.   It isn't an easy journey Georgina, going through the grieving process will bring up a kaleidoscope of emotions in you, from deep sorrow to rage and resentment that you have lost your lovely mother while you are still so young yourself.  The unfairness of it all will overwhelm you at times.........but you WILL PULL THROUGH.  Take care my dear, and once again, I'm so sorry for your loss, xx

  • Hi Georgina

    Sorry for your loss. 

    Sending love

    X