Welcome to the Cancer Chat community Mop48 although I'm very sorry to hear your dad passed away last month. You have my deepest sympathies for your loss.

It's completely understandable, and natural, for your emotions to be all over the place at the moment but I'm glad your place of work are being supportive and that you've spoken to your GP. I'm not sure if they have mentioned bereavement counselling to you, but this is something that many of our members have found to be really helpful when working through their grief so if this is something you feel you may benefit from then do be sure to see what support is available through Cruse Bereavement Care and Sue Ryder.

Living with the loss of a loved one is tough but many of our members have been through this so you are not alone and I'm sure some of them will be along when they can to offer their support and advice. I hope this information we have on coping with grief will help as well.

Be kind to yourself Mop and try to take things one day at a time. It may not seem like it right now but you will find a way through.

Kind regards,

Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

Hi There [@Mop48]‍ ,

I lost my Mum in January this year (I can't believe it has been almost 4 months) 

I took Two months off work and have recently gone back on reduced hours.

Thankfully my work are as supportive as your's sounds and have not put any pressure on me, work at my own pace, regular time away from my screen etc. I'm working from home which also helps as it means if i need to cry i can and i don't feel anyone is watching judging me. I have days where i'm just sat in joggers and a jumper and others where i actually dress up to make that walk from bedroom to office (2 doors away)

I decided it was time to go back when i just knew i need my routine back, some kind of normality (if there ever was one ) The first two months i just couldnt get a grip of myself but as the days, hours go on i've slowly started to get up in the morning, eat breakfast etc.

Don't get me wrong i STILL have days where im finding myself staring into space and start crying which i don't think will ever go away. You know i still chat to Mum i'll go into the kitchen and say "Would you like a cuppa" "What shall i make for tea tonight" and just finding comfort that i know she is responding to me some how :) 
I personally don't think there is an actual answer to when YOU feel ready, I think aslong as you are being kind to yourself you will just know when you feel ready, Even if you go back on reduced hours / part time and get yourself back into the swing of things.

Maybe if you set a deadline as to when youre going to go back for a couple of weeks before, set your alarm, get dressed for work what you would normally do on a work day/morning that way you are giving your mind time to adjust so it is not so much a shock of change.

Remember BE KIND TO YOURSELF, Talk to your Dad, tell him what you've done in the day. If it feels strange to talk outloud write it down, I do that with Mum

Time will go ever so fast but the healing process will take time and everyone will heal in their own time, No right or wrong and you will find your own kind of comfort, Mine is having her shawl over me in the bed as i feel she is hugging me (WOW! that's made me shed a tear) 

Sending virtual hugs your way my lovely