Hi 

I am writing this message and still feeling like I am living a nightmare. 
I met my soulmate, best friend and partner in crime over 30 years ago and we instantly clicked. 
we have a beautiful home, beautiful children lovely friends and after the pandemic we're looking forward to getting back in to doing all of the things we love with the people we love. 
That was until our world was tipped upside down in December 2021 when after several trips to the GP with stomach pains and being sent away with IBS medication my husband was finally sent for a CT scan. We waited over a month for the result feeling positive it can't be anything serious as we would have heard back quickly. 
The most horrible phone call was delivered by his GP at the end of January the confirmation that a mass has been located in the pancreas and also abnormalities in lung and liver. 
The bomb had been dropped and we felt numb and sick but remained positive we will do as much as possible to fight this horrible disease. 
It wasn't long before the pain was becoming unbearable and the drugs were being pumped up. It seemed forever before the oncologist was able to fit us in to discuss any treatment and by the time they did the cancer had really taken over. 
My husband never complained and was prepared to do anything to stick around with me and continue to be my soul mate. We celebrated his 75th Birthday on 20th March and all of the people he loved the most were there. He said it was the best day of his life. 5 days later at a routine appointment to check his lung drain the hospital identified some issues with the lung and advised he stay in hospital that weekend. 24 hrs later we said goodbye. 
We knew his cancer was terminal and knew his pain was increasing and chance of treatment decreasing however were not prepared for how quickly he was taken. 
I am just numb and incomplete I will never ever enjoy my life in the same way I did with my world beside me.