Hi Dee29

I lost my Mum just before Christmas and can relate to everything you say. The sadness is overwhelming, especially when you wake up and remember what has happened. 
 

I was able to take a bit of time off before I went back to work, and when I did start back I felt strange (still do!) so please don't feel guilty or think you should just be able to carry on as if nothing has happened. One of the biggest things in your life has just happened, and hopefully your work would understand if you needed even a few extra days off. I know it did me good not to go back right away and I'll be honest and say I've definitely found it difficult to focus and my productivity isn't the best since I have gone back but I'm trying not to give myself a hard time about that! Would your work consider maybe a phased return, just to see how to go? You might surprise yourself and settle back in ok but I know I've found myself, if I have too much distraction during the day  that I almost don't pay enough attention to how I'm feeling and it can really build up and make me feel even worse. So what I'm trying to say is take your time and be kind to yourself when you can. It's such early days.