Hello Kirsta1986, 

I am so so sorry for your loss. This is understandably still so raw for you and it's normal that you are finding it difficult to bear seeing people happy around you or hearing certain songs on the radio. The grieving process is a very personal one and twelve weeks on, it isn't surprising that it still hurts so much. I thought I would share with you our page on coping with grief which describes really well the range of emotions you might go through when dealing with grief and I hope that it will help you understand that it is completely normal to be feeling this way at the moment and that it currently hurts just as much but hopefully with time and the right support around you the pain will start getting less intense.

I am pleased to hear that you have found the support on this site great and I hope that you will hear from other members who have been through the traumatic experience of losing a loved one to cancer. It's truly heartbreaking and it's often difficult to shake off those often haunting images of their final moments. If you feel you are really struggling though and that it would help you to talk to someone, perhaps you could get in touch with your GP and they might be able to offer you grief counselling or some other good tips to help you feel a little bit better. 

What you are going through at the moment is very tough and I just wanted you to know that we are all here for you any time you need to talk or offload. So many members of our forum have been in a similar place before and I am sure they will be along shortly to share their experience with you. 

Best wishes, 

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator