Hello Vannah60 and a warm welcome to Cancer Chat, 

I am so sorry for your loss and I just wanted to say that what you are feeling is totally normal. Many members of our forum will be able to relate to this. All these festivities which are a reason for celebration for many will be a heartbreaking time for all those who have lost a loved one. It can be really hard to be in the mood to celebrate when you feel you are entering a new year for the first time without the loved one you are missing so much. Our Coping with Grief page highlights the complexity of the grieving process and I hope that it will shed some light on the range of feelings and emotions you may be going through. It's so sad that your mum didn't get to spend more time with your little boy - covid has made everything so much more difficult. It's moving though that you managed to fly home to be with her. 

You have come to the right place for support and to meet others who have also lost a loved one to cancer. They will know only too well how you are feeling at the moment as we are entering this new year so I will let them come and say hello and share their story with you. 

May 2022 be kind to you and bring you the comfort you need during these difficult times. 

Best wishes, 

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator