My mom died in my arms on the 9th of November, I can't get them images and death rattle out my head, I was in shock, left numb.. Five weeks later I went and see her on her birthday she looked so peaceful but my heart broke all over again, we had funeral day after, and even though my heart I know she's gone, in my head, my bubble I've created she's still alive, I just can't find her, I believe she's on her scooter riding round, she hasn't passed away.
I think by not saying goodbye and only good-night I've created my bubble to stop reality creeping in, because I don't wanna deal with it, in my bubble I play my videos of my mum saying hello over and over again,
Is this normal, or am I just delaying the inevitable by not grieving correctly.
All I do is cry, get angry and cry some more, I'm angry with alot of people, the hospital, doctors and cancer its self.
My mom was a big part of my life, and now there's just an empty hole, that night she died in my arms a part of me died too...
