I'm sorry to hear of the tragic loss of your husband.  I read your story and could unfortunately relate to the pain you are going through, as my story is very similar.
 

My partner passed away just over 3 months (12th October) ago from cancer of unknown primary, only 5 days after receiving her diagnosis.

Unfortunately her form of cancer was extremely rare and aggressive and by the time we got the diagnosis, it had spread everywhere (Liver, bowel, stomach, kidneys, pancreas, blood, and bones).  They suspect it was pancreatic cancer but we will never know, as it was too wide spread.

Danielle was only 38 and had no symptoms up until 4-5 weeks prior to her passing.  She was a fit and healthy girl and we were completely in love with so many plans of how we were going to spend our lives together.  I still struggle to understand how could this happen so quick and why her, why my Danielle???
 

She was my soulmate and the person I was to grow old with.  Danielle leaves behind 2 kiddies (not mine) that I still see once a week, as they now live with their father full time.  They are 4 & 8 and just the sweetest kids...

Danielle never got the chance to fight this horrible disease but I know she would have because that's who she was.  I draw comfort in that she was not scared and I was there with her right to the end, as I said I would be.  She passed away in my arms at 22:22pm.

I love and miss her every day and always will.  Stay strong...

All I can offer you and Mark19W is my heartfelt sympathies. What a terrible shock.

Mark - your post is lovely and heartfelt. It's lovely that you were with Danielle until the end and you still see her children. xxx

Thank you for your kind words EllaW.

loosing Danielle in the way and speed I did is the hardest thing I've ever gone through and still go through.  It's been nearly 4 months now and the bad days are getting less and less.

I visit my Danielle every weekend at the cemetery just to talk, even though I will never hear her beautiful voice again (apart from the many videos I have of us, which I am so grateful for).

Danielle's family have been amazing and we managed to raise £18.5k in her memory to donate to the hospice where she passed away.

I am so blessed to have been in her life.  She was the most caring, loving, and funny girl.  She was my lobster (friend reference, we watched loads together).

Take care.  Mark

Thank you for your kind words EllaW.

loosing Danielle in the way and speed I did is the hardest thing I've ever gone through and still go through.  It's been nearly 4 months now and the bad days are getting less and less.

I visit my Danielle every weekend at the cemetery just to talk, even though I will never hear her beautiful voice again (apart from the many videos I have of us, which I am so grateful for).

Danielle's family have been amazing and we managed to raise £18.5k in her memory to donate to the hospice where she passed away.

I am so blessed to have been in her life.  She was the most caring, loving, and funny girl.  She was my lobster (friend reference, we watched loads together).

Take care.  Mark