Betrayed

After 2.5 years since husbands diagnosis with Myeloma our marriage has been difficult.  He announced last night he's been having an an affair with a nurse from the cancer unit where he's had weekly treatment.  It's been going on for a year, he left in January for a week and said he was with a friend, but asked if he could come back. Apparently she cares and listens. I'm broken, guilty for not being enough.  I don't know to do.

  • Hello Concerned.Wife

    I'm so sorry to hear that the last few years since your husband's diagnosis have been so difficult and that now he has told you that he's been having an affair. I can imagine that it's been a very upsetting time and it's understandable that you're feeling upset by things. 

    I hope that you have a good network of family and friends around you to offer some support whilst you try to decide what your next steps will be. You might find it helpful to have a look at the Relate website. There is lots of information available along with some links to counselling support if this is something you think might help you. 

    Whatever happens next, I hope that you're able to find the support you need to help you through the coming weeks and months. 

    Best wishes, 
    Jenn
    Cancer Chat moderator 

  • Thank you that's very kind.  I am hoping he will speak and give counselling a chance.  I have not wanted to worry family but broke today and they are all there for me and our Son.

    Julie

  • Hello,

              l can only  imagine how difficult this news has been to bear for you.The problem with a cancer diagnosis is that it never just affects one in a partnership,but for the one with the condition its all too easy to forget this as they initially embark upon a voyage of self pity.Somewhere along this journey comes the acceptance of their position along with a new found motivation to live life to the full with the time they have left. The problems can arise because in all of this because it can become a very singular outlook,that can err towards self indulgence.

                                                                           l can only hope your life will take a turn for the better and you are able to smile both on the inside and outside,

                                                                                           take care,

                                                                                                                David