I'm 22 and my mum is 46. She got diagnosed with breast cancer 13 years ago. She was in the all clear for 10 years. Then it came back 3 years ago, to the pleural lining of her lungs. Then earlier this year it's now spread to her bowels. Don't get me wrong my mum is a fighter, she's strong, she's resilient, she was a gym instructor so she's fit and healthy. "PMA all the way" she says. She reads books, she's gotten into crystals, she takes a *** load of vitamins. But she's losing so much weight, she's skinny, she's pale, she's tired, she feels sick all the time, she throws up, she cries I'm like watching my mum die in front of me. She says she wants to get back to her normal self, but she's never going to be her old self ever again and it really hurts too much to watch her just slowly fade away I wish she'd just pass away now so I can get over it. I feel like an absolute horrible human being for saying that. You know it's my mum and I love her to bits, with my whole life. She's done everything for me. I just feel angry and *** off because my dad and little sister, as a family were not as close as we used to be. With your wife and mum dying you'd think it'd bring us closer but it's pushed us apart because we all deal with things differently. I'm starting to resent my mum and I wish she'd just die already which sounds absolutely awful but it's true and I don't know how to get over this and view it in a different way