Hello everyone 

I guess I am looking for any advice?!

my dad (84) has been diagnosed with advanced lung cancer. He also has heart problems and kidney disease so his treatment options have been poor. He was told he could have chemotherapy but it wouldn't cure him, and likely be so toxic it may cause his kidneys to fail/set off his other health problems. He was advised he would lose his quality of life much quicker with treatment so he decided not to pursue treatment.

this was all a lot to take in but he was feeling okay.

he then lost his voice quite quickly and this has really impacted him. He has now started coughing up a lot of blood. 
what is difficult is that although he is not actively having treatment he still wants some kind of medical support as his symptoms develop.

we have been in touch with lung nurses at the hospital who say keep us posted and we can help with symptom management, but then they refer to gp who say it's not their area and refer to hospice who we are told are the experts in symptom management. However they then say report symptom changes to the hospital and speak to district nurses....

i don't think he can get his head round the fact nothing can be done...not even for these symptoms (loss of voice mainly).

he doesn't have any nursing needs at the moment but it's tired, coughing blood and struggling mentally with the loss of his voice. He relys on me to help him manage his appointments etc and it's heartbreaking not getting anywhere.

he feels as though he has been sentenced to death and it's now a waiting game. 
 

has anyone been in a similar situation where someone they care for is not having treatment and it's terminal? Any advice on how to support him and keep him feeling positive when it's actually awful?

anything at all would be so appreciated.

thankyou for reading