Hi. Sorry to find you hear asking for advice.

I'm 42 and I've been diagnosed with breast cancer and

had first cycles of chemo today ( which went well so far so good) so I came on here searching for advice too. I've had some experience with family members passing away.

My mum passed away ages 66 with lung cancer (7 weeks after diagnosis ) 

My dad passed away with prostate cancer aged 67'(8 years after diagnosis) 

Uncle passed away ages 73 -multiple cancers- huge weight loss. Four months after diagnosis.

People deal with things differently. Some people can help care for their relatives - bathed and dressed both mam and dad. Even after they passed away.  
Some people only attend once and never return as can't deal with death.

No rules of what's best. 
 

Seeing loved ones deteriorate is awful. I spent hours looking after my parents and it not till I loon at photos can you see deterition.

Life is never the same when someone passes away. You can never see them again, talk to them, hold their hand. 
you learn to live with grief. Grief never fades you grow to live with it. 
When I returned to work my boss was like are you back to normal . I said life is never going to be Normal. It's a new normal-  a one without my loved one in it. 
 

If you go and see your Nan - maybe you won't like what you see if she's poorly and frail.

And if you don't go and see her -will you feel guilty you didn't visit one last time. 

if she's on end of life pathway - she might be just asleep all day with a syringe driver up. She should look

asleep. 
its really tricky - But think it was me if go once. Tell her you love her. You won't regret it

x efffie x