End of life care

This has come as an absolutely devastating shock to all our family. My dad was admitted to hospital a week ago after just seeming to be going down hill with different ailments. On Friday we receive the news that my dad has cancer in his liver lung stomach. He at this point asked them to stop. His next question was how do I fight this. He was then told there was nothing they could do but make his final weeks comfortable. He has told them he wants to go home to die with family around him. He is extremely concerned as his pain management is not being managed even after medication it is making no difference and he now  has to suffer the weekend until consultant re assessment on Monday. If it can't be managed in hospital how can it be managed at home and this terrifys him. He would very much like to be able to have a hospital bed at home.as it is the only way he can sit up the bars stop him falling out as he's having terrible nightmares and night sweats without the bars he would of fallen from bed. The support it gives helps his ever weakening body. He feels without these two things he feels he will not leave hospital. Surely when all he needs is some relief from pain and to feel safe. I feel I am letting him down and I'm not sure how I go about organising this or who to turn to for advice. We live in Trafford near Greater Manchester.

thank you in advance for your support. Joanne

  • Hi Joanne

    I'm so sorry for your recent terrible news.  My family is a few months down the line - my mum was diagnosed with terminal cancer in August- and it's very hard isn't it...

    it sounds like the pain management is the key and the hospital needs to be able to reassure you and your dad that this can be managed at home. And what to do if it can't....

    we've been given oral morphine for my mum to use as she needs.  Also a hospital bed has been put in her home.  She has wonderful carers who come three times a day as she lives by herself.  She is in and out of hospital but she feels cared for and supported, and that her wishes are listened to. 
    Be honest with the hospital and your dad about your worries- we've had some very frank conversations .  All the best 

    Terry

  • Thank you for your kind words and advice. I'm so sorry to hear about your mum. His consultant will be on ward tomorrow and I have asked that he contact me so that if it is not possible for face to face meeting we can arrange zoom meeting to discuss my worries.

    take care and thank you

  • This is all such a tough journey for family members and even writing this I feel guilty because my mum is the one in pain.  Good luck with the hospital- they can't release yr dad without a proper plan in place.  All the best

    T