Hubby had the MRI scan and Pet scan last week after finding a lump on neck mid sept21. Had biospsy 1/11/21 but awaiting results. He doesn't want to hurry up the process and find out whereas I do?
My wife had to wait 8 days for her results. If you have another meeting scheduled with the treating doctor, he should get told then or he can call around the week mark. You'll get nowhere though unless he's deemed not to be in sound mind, so it would have to be him that called/pushed for the results.
I only mentioned on Thursday to hubby about should he call when he actually said " well all the while, I don't hear then everything is normal".
He went from being scared and morbid to being ok, then now denial I suppose. But generally, haven't been long only since September. Also will my husband get a cancer nurse assigned to him? How r u doing?
He deals with things how i deal with things, so I totally get where he's coming from. Like 100% get where he's coming from. My wife, who has breast cancer, is very much like yourself.
I, we, know it's all real, but you want just one normal day. Just one without the constant beating of the cancer drum. I suspect it's a wee bit denial and just wanting to try and push other thoughts into his head whilst he's waiting and he has that little bit of luxury. The longer the results take, the longer he can do that. Does this all make sense? Maybe it's just a "me" thing.
One thing for damn sure, waiting for results whether it be biopsies, scan etc, is by far the worst part. Even being told she had cancer wasn't as bad as the waiting, the unknown. She gets her scan results next week in prep for her chemo.
Another thing when was your wife diagnosed? Were you with her. I was with hubby as he wanted me there and thankfully my day off as only work part time. Something else I'm forever thankful for. We have a child aged nearly 13 and he knows that his dad has a lump and having it operated on. He knows about the biopsy also which he couldn't deny as a plaster on it.
Anyway, take it day by day eh! God bless and thanks very much for responding
The same holds true with you, you can message me any time if you feel you have to vent or just be listened too.
My wife, she's actually been doing really well considering. Better than myself may i add. When i have my moments, i just go for a wee walk as i don't want to project my fears onto her. Funny thing is, the 3 weeks we've been on this journey we have actually been ok barring the obvious elephant in the room.
From the day she went for her initial biopsies, to the day we were officially told, to where we found ourselves meeting the oncologist and her having all those dreaded scans. Everything surrounding it has had positivity attached to it. They broke it in small parts that she more or less had cancer during the biopsies, so the next week when we were sat in the dreaded room, it came as zero surprise. so The staff handled that really, really well. Her cancer, whilst very aggressive, responds very well to the treatments she will be given because it's entirely hormone driven. So remove those hormones and it will kinda get stopped in its tracks. If she is deemed stage 4 (we will learn next week if that's the case), which won't be curable, the oncologist said he has a lot of women under him living with the exact same cancer with 5 years under their belts, more with 10 years under their belts and 15 years +. So the treatment will remain the same regardless of what stage it's at.
One thing we have maintained during this is our sense of humour. Before this, I'd have crawled under a rock if I had ever joked about anything cancer related, but what else can you do? If you don't keep your humour the bleakness is all consuming.
Years and years ago when my gran had cancer. I hated visiting, as a 16-18 year old because what was once a vibrant house, was suddenly sombre. Even though she got cured, it was like both of them were just waiting for death to come visit. They joked about nothing, barely spoke and so on. I do not ever want to live in a household like that and it was actually the first thing the wife said too. We keep things as near as normal as it allows us. She had no argument from me.
