Hello all, 

I'm not sure where I can get help with my situation. I have been seeing my boyfriend for a year and a month. He is separated (not legally official yet) and I still haven't been introduced to his parents, and he is not really keen to introduce me yet. This situation already introduced quite a few arguments in our relationship. 

My bf is very close with his parents, they talk everyday. In June 2021 devastating news came in that his beloved mum has got ovarian cancer. He flew back to his home country for 2 months to spend time with her and support during womb removal surgery. He said that he will most likely will not be available to talk over the phone at all for a few weeks as he will be busy with family, which I absolutely accepted. The plan was for me to come to that country on another side of the world after the successful surgery for 1 week of holiday, however when the surgery went well and I checked last minute tickets, they were too expensive for me to travel (£1200+). My boyfriend got very upset that I did not come, as he needed me, however I always offered that I will come and support and hold his hand anytime, but not if he will be hiding me from this family. He wanted me to come to a holiday destination to spend time on the beach, instead of supporting him at family city. I am working remotely and could stay with him, but he explicitely said he dont want me nowhere near his family at this stage. Which I also tried to understand, as this might be not the best time to introduce me, however the hesistance to do it was before the cancer announcement. 

What my question is and what I'm trying to understand and gain emphaty on...is his further actions. It would really help me to understand if this is a usual behaviour in someone dealing with parent's illness or is there a serious issue we need to work on. 

Surgery went well, but I still could not get hold of him. He would not have calls with me while at home so nobody can see me, and his reasoning was that he is very stressed and busy with mother. Our communication would be a text message at best once a day. I decided it is not the best time for me to go to that country and fly 10 000 myles away, when he is too busy with mother and I can't get hold of him to plan it properly. Instead I decided to go on a holiday with my friend to celebrate my birthday in Spain, and ended up staying longer and visiting friends in Italy, Cyprus and Croatia, waiting for him to come back. He got very upset I decided to go on holiday while his mother is battling cancer and he is in distress. And absolutely stopped talking with me for a month until he came back to the UK. 

Is this kind of behaviour expected in someone dealing with these emotions? Am I too demanting in asking to keep talking with me sometimes while he is away for months, or going away on a holiday while he is away in that country even if he did not want me to be involved with his family at all?  We broke up temporarily and came back together, however this theme continues where I am taken away from his family affairs, however I am the only one in this country who is supporting him emotionally and he is expecting me to kind of stop living my life and asks I should have more emphaty to his situation and should not be going out or having fun when he is going through this difficult moment. I am confused what to do and how I can truly support him...

Sorry for a long post, I really dont know where to ask for advice...

T