Hi

My mum has incurable bowel cancer, which has spread to her brain and liver, and has spent the last week being treated in hospital for low sodium levels.  They now want to discharge her.  She wants to come home with carers coming in twice a day.  The problem is that my dad and I do not think this would be feasible.  He is 83 and has MS and I have a full time job so my dad would be left to care for her alone most of the day.  There would also be the disruption of carers coming in early while I am trying to get ready for work etc.  We therefore feel it would be best for her to go into a care home.  We are trying to get her into one just down the road from us.  She has reluctantly agreed to go if they can take her, but is very unhappy about it and thinks we are just doing what is easiest for us, even though we do genuinely feel it would be best for all of us, although a selfish part of me  doesn't want to deal with the stress of it all.  She hasn't been herself since the brain tumour was discovered 2 months ago, but she has deteriorated rapidly in the last 2 weeks and is now like a different person.  She is only just 70 but has aged greatly in the last few months. I don't know if this is affecting her thinking, but she was quite nasty to me and my dad today.  Does anyone have any experience of this and are we being selfish?