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Would you cancel your holiday?

monicak
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Hi! My younger sister who is 24 has just been diagnosed with Hodgkins Lymphona. She is going to be given 6 months worth of chemo from Oct 21 - Apr 22. I have a holiday booked with my husband for my 30th to Barbados. Even though I don't live with her, nor will I be visiting her much during her treatmetn (incase I bring an infection), I am unsure whether to still go. Is it wrong to go away and have fun while your sister is going through this? I don't feel excited and I want to cancel, but my mum and my sister (the one with the cancer) are saying that I shouldn't cancel and they want me to go. I am more swayed towards cancelling even though i'd lose money. 

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    Hi Monica,

    My perspective is from that as a cancer patient. Firstly, what Stage is your sister? Has she been given a terminal diagnosis? If not, there is no immediate reason for being here and missing your holiday. If you were able to help her, practically, throughout her treatment you may feel the need to be here (transport to hospital, cooking meals, helping with housework etc) but if it's all covered by others there is no reason to stay home. I know that I wouldn't begrudge my sibling going away on a holiday that they've had booked, especially for a special occasion. Your sister and mum have told you to go - they will feel guilty if you miss your holiday because of your sister's illness. You can speak to get every day from Barbados just like you can from home. So don't feel guilty and enjoy your holiday. I hope your sister's treatment goes well.

    Angie (Stage 3 melanoma patient)

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    Hey! 

    So sorry to hear your news. My boyfriend is 27 (I'm 25) and he has just been diagnosed with the same and is also being given 6 months of chemo starting next Wednesday 13th. It might be worth staying in touch? I know I could use the support.

    I live with my boyfriend and will be the main person with him by his side - I won't be able to go on holiday or even see friends and family as much as I usually do due to bringing infection. 

    If your mum and sister have said go, then I would listen to them. If you cancel, your sister might feel guilty even though it was your choice, she still insists you should go. There also isn't much you can do if you don't go.

    One thing I have realised during this process, even though it is so early is that life is very short and you only get one life so you should enjoy it whilst you can as tomorrow is not guaranteed.

    Go on holiday, enjoy it and FaceTime your sister so she can feel like she's on holiday too :)

    Sending best wishes and love to you and your family.

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    Hi,

    I have just been through cancer treatment and personally I encouraged my family & friends to go out and enjoy themselves, go on holiday whatever whilst I underwent treatment. Them being away or on nights out never bothered me one bit. It just made me more positive and gave me hope that i would be back to normal and enjoying doing the same things later when I was done with treatment. Having a cancer diagnosis makes you realise that we all only have one shot at life. If you were my sister I'd be encouraging you to go. Keep in touch with your sister throughout your holiday send a few pictures etc but go your holiday. Your sister won't want you to miss out and to feel she is the reason for it.

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    Your holiday is scheduled for the early part of the treatment cycles. There's much likely to happen during that time, it could get more stressful/unpredictable further down the line.

    I'd say, go ahead with the holiday and maybe ask your sister whether she would enjoy being part of it virtually, via zoom talks or if you upload video/photos to social media. Bit like the modern version of sending postcards :-) 

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