Hi everyone sorry for this rant but right now I'm so lost I first met my partner in high school he was my first love and I moved away we met back up 7years ago he had just  lost his wife due to alcohol and at that time he was a alcoholic too we began to chat and he said he wanted to change his life around and not be alcohol dependant any more  as he has children of which I have bonded with I work hard and alcohol doest entertain me so in the last 4 years he has turned his life around but last year became ill and had throat cancer and had a full larngetomy we both struggled but I thought we were strong enough to get through this but began to spend less time with each other so 3 months ago decided to spend sometime apart but still stayed in contact then last month he ended up in hospital again due to excess alcohol his bowel burst and had rectum  bleeding  and smoking cannabis through the stoma in his neck I felt such a fool as I knew nothing of this   He also walked out the hospital against doctors wishes he had been lying to me again I feel so torn I don't know why I don't just leave him I have lost family and friend I know feel  like I can't breath but can't walk away he promise to change but I feel he will wait till his body heals again and it will all begin again