Sorry to hear that Sadie. Gutted for you. Stay strong. I hope your Mother somehow manages to stay upbeat, strong and positive. 

Thank you for your kind words. 

My beautiful little Mum died at 5 07am today. To have to sit with her and watch all that I know slowly drift away with top ups of morphine, was truly the most dreadful experience of my life. How I am meant to stop seeing her in my mind, in her final moments, I have no idea.

My world ended this morning. 

I have literally been through the exact same with my 32 year old baby bro at the end of Aug. . Im in bits talking about it, wanting them to pass peacefully and not in pain, but then the waiting is dreadful and then not wanting them to go at the same time, I feel your pain. Know that it's comfort that you are there right next to her as I was next to my beautiful bro. Xxxx sending you strength and love

I feel you. I still live those last moments, because its still rabbit! but they won't always be the first memories of your mum, in time you will remember as she was, beautiful xx talk to someone as soon as, literally u will need support as of now

Sadue2.

Hello Sadie I read your posts and I kinda know how you are feelimg, it's the hardest thing watching and being with a parent as they take thier last breath and die,but although it's a terrible feeling of helplessness and sorrow,it's also a relief to know they won't suffer any more. I'm so very sorry you had to experience this,I too sat and held my dads hand as he took his last breath,that was in 1995,but  yes its a long time ago,but you never ever forget, my dad had a terrible stroke and couldn't talk,  he also had prostrate cancer and was in hospital for just over a year,I went into see him everyday, and when he couldn't feed himself he had a feeding tube put into his nose and down into his stomach,he pulled it out numerous times ,so many times we were told to get to the hospital as he was dying, but he kept  holding on.Then we got the call one day saying just that, he hadn't got long, and when I got there, his breathing was bad,hus colour was terrible a blue/mauve tinge to his skin, I knew that this was it,he really was going, he died as I was telling him I loved him,  but I was praying for God to take him,and I felt guilty for doing it,but I just couldn't  see him in so much pain.After the grief sinks in ,al your low for days ,weeks after  but in time    you just learn to get on with life,even though its tough . 

I hope you have some support from close family and friends, don't bottle things up  talking about how you feel, really does help. Always popping on here from time to time ,so don't be alone with your grief,I'm happy to chat on hear if you feel it will help you.x

Hi Sadie - I just wanted to send my heartfelt thoughts to you - this disease is so cruel and I like you feel the same about the suffering.  My mum is at the moment in the hospice fading away infront of my eyes her eyes open suddenly sometimes and she gets the odd word out .. I can still see my beutiful mummie in her eyes but know this was her greatest fear and feel like I have let her down in someway - I know deep down I havent but just feel so lost helpless and sad ... She went into hospital 6 weeks ago and from the word go it was awful - she had a bad reaction to the pallative chemo as health wise she wasnt great .. Its awful how you pray for their suffering to end as it kills you to see them like that .. I feel sick all of the time but its not about me ... Anyway sorry for rambling .. Just please stay as strong as you can remember the good times and your mum as she was - An angel with no wings xxxx