Hey. I'm really really struggling. It sounds so stupid but my mum, who is 87, has been unwell for a while. She didn't want tests as she said at her age she wouldn't have treatment. She was rushed into hospital last night and today I have been told she has terminal cancer. They think she has a mass in her tummy and it's spread to her liver. They are going to operate to make her more comfortable but thats it. Due to covid only 1 of us can go and see her - my partner has been with me 20 yrs and we all live together.i sent her to the hospital as I just can't face my mum. I can't stop crying and I just can't see her in my state as she will worry.

Its always been me and her against everything and for my whole 47yrs we have always lived together. I just feel my world is ending and I really don't know if I can carry on without her. It sounds so dramatic and I don't mean it to. I have a responsible job and I deal with death regularly but I just can't process the pain I'm feeling. I'm so angry that this awful disease has invaded her body.

I know there are so many people out there who are young and have so much to deal with. It seems unfair that I am so angry when my mum is the grand old age of 87. I'm sorry if I sound pathetic but I'm just so shell shocked.

Thanks for listening.