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Worried about my mother - stage 4 ovarian cancer

FezzaHorton
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Hi there,

My mother has stage 4 Ovarian cancer and the consultant has advised she has about 6 months. It's the aggressive small clear cell type and she's decided not to do any further chemo due to quality of life. She's been doing pretty well considering but recently has gone downhill with pain in her side, back and left leg when she tries to walk.  I'm really worried as I'm not sure if this is a sign that things are getting worse and the GP won't examine her just gave her codine for the pain. I'm so scared I don't have a lot of family support and have never been through this before. Be lovely to hear from others about their experiences. X

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    I'm so sorry to hear about your poor mum. My mum was recently diagnosed with a recurrence of advanced endometrial cancer. We have not asked how long she has but unfortunately I stumbled on some statistics I wish I hadn't seen. 
    It must be very hard for you without many other people to lean on. I do think tour mum's pain should be properly managed. Have you spoken to the consultant who saw her originally? Had the codine helped? 

  • Offline in reply to Rainbow34

    The codine doesn't seem to be helping yet. I'm going to speak with her hospice team for some further advice. The consultant did leave the door open for her to go back again but I think that may take some time to organise. 

  • Offline in reply to FezzaHorton

    I had a friend die from cancer a few years ago and the hospice team were great at pain management and had more time to to support his family than the medical teams. Hope you have a good experience with them too. 

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    I am sorry to hear about what you are going through, I feel for you and your Mum. I really think pain management is essential and I hope you'll get the help that your Mum needs. 

    I, myself, am going through the same heart-breaking experience because Mum was just diagnosed last month with ovarian cancer. I was a wreck when I heard it. No biopsy yet so unknown staging, unknown grade,  but two pleural effusions in the last two months make me suspicious that the ovarian cancer maybe malignant and may have already metastasised -Stage 4. (waiting for consultant advice). Mum lives abroad and I am so far away that I can't even be with her at this point in her life,  going home is not that easy for me because of the pandemic. Like you, I have little support here in the UK (I live alone, have a few good friends) and a rather small family to support Mum back home. 

    I cannot imagine how you and your mum must have felt when the consultant gave you the prognosis. My mum's cancer has not even been staged yet and I am already devastated - can't sleep, can't concentrate at work, I just want to be on my own to cry, think and cry again.  If you would not mind, may I ask if since the diagnosis of stage 4, did your Mum have surgery then chemo after? Or chemo only? Did the consultant confirm that the ovarian cancer metastasised already for them to stay 6 months? 

    Big hugs to you and your mum x 

  • Offline in reply to Moen

    Thanks for your kind words. She's really one of the lucky ones. She was first diagnosed in 2011 with stage 1c and had a full hysterectomy and chemo as an insurance policy as the consultant called it. She recovered and made it past the 5 year all clear mark. Then in late 2019 she started with pains in the lower groin and they discovered just before the lockdown last year that there was a recurrence at stage 4. The GP was slow to send her for investigation but luckily the lockdown didn't stop her chemo but the consultant told her it was incurable. She had 6 rounds of chemo last year but it proved to be ineffective due to the clear cell diagnosis it's aggressive and hard to treat. It spread to her lungs and lymph nodes and she was very ill with the chemo this year so decided to stop. We saw the consultant inJune and he said 6 months could be more could be less. Once it spreads further than the abdomen it's not a great prognosis from  what I understand. However, the one thing we didn't know is that the chemo she started this year would only prolong her life by approximately 2 months so not worth it. Ask the consultant to stage it for you. What I remember from 2011 and the operation is that they don't know exactly till they open you up and see and they take fluid samples in the abdomen to test also. I wish you and your mother all good wishes and hope it's not as bad as you suspect. Take one day at a time it's the only way to deal with it 
    xx

  • Offline in reply to Rainbow34

    Thanks I've spoken with them today and getting them on the case x

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