My mums treatment is failing

Hi 

for the past few months I have read these forums. And I finally decided to post one about my mums cancer. 


she was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2017 went through chemo and radiotherapy and things were looking good. However in September 2020 she has massive pain in her legs and back and after afew misdiagnostics she was told the cancer had come back and spread to different parts of her body including spine and liver. She was put on hormone tables which didn't work and then chemo. It's is now august 2021 and no treatment has helped. She has tried a trial but after all the formatlites and blood tests she was told on the final blood test that her liver function wasn't good enough to do the trial and the back up chemo which was set up incase she didn't get on the trial. 
She is back home now with a neck brace on but we as a family are broken. We just don't know what to do or say we are trying to look after her and my sister and dad are doing a wonderful job. but I am 22 and want to live in London and finish my masters but due to Covid haven't hugged my mum in about a year Incase I pass something on. It has been the worst year of my life. We always seem to be in limbo and I just hope there is some other treatment that might give her some more time. But she keeps saying it's her time and she is tired.  but I selfishly want her to keep on fighting. 
We are a close family but we are all finding it really hard. 

I was wondering if anyone can give us/me some advice 

  • Hi Triplet

    I'm so sorry to read about your mum in this vert difficult time for you and your family.

    I think you have to now be guided by your mum, there is only so much fight a person can cope with. Although it will be difficult try and continue your masters its what your mum would want. 

    I sadly lost my mum in January and when I visited her in hospital she held her arms out to me and also pulled my mask down for a kiss. I held her tight and kissed her and I'm so glad I did as next time I saw her she was sedated and end of life. 

    Keep talking with your family and the nursing team it will help you all. Your mum knows you all love her so try and make what ever time you have left with her calm, peaceful.

    Wishing you all my love in this difficult time. Here I'd you need to chat.

    Louise xx

  • Hi Triplet.

    I've been through a similar thing twice.

    My mam died aged 66 after 7 weeks after diagnosis of Lung cancer and my dad passed away in May after a 8year fight with prostate cancer that had spread to kidney. He was 67.

    They both admitted they had had enough after they had struggled on in pain for way before diagnosis.

    Often people will say they've had enough of suffering. They sometimes need reassurance and to be told it "ok to go" and that the family left will be ok and like after each other. I did this for both my mam and dad- my dads seemed relieved that we'd come to terms with the fact that he had given up the fight

    Try and have some family time. share memories take photo's.

    Cry if you need too -it's no good bottling it all up.

    Such a hard situation to be in. 
    thinking of you all.

    Much Iove 

    Efffie xx