Coping with multiple family diagnoses

I'm struggling to come to terms with everything that is happening to my family right now. In January my dad got diagnosed with chronic myeloid leukaemia. When I found out I felt like my world collapsed around me but before I could come to terms with what this now meant, both my grandad and nanny have been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer at the same time in July. Whilst my grandad has had surgery for his, he is still quite poorly and in hospital awaiting chemotherapy to tackle the other tumours that they could not get. However, my nanny has T4 inoperable pancreatic cancer, and we are awaiting confirmation of the grade to determine what we have left. I don't know how to cope with these new experiences and emotions, and have been pushing all of it down and burying myself into work. I have also recently gotten engaged and im really struggling with the reality that she might not be there. I guess I just wanted to come on here and talk to/ hear from others who understand as I feel like my friends don't want to talk about it and I don't want to talk to my family as I don't want to upset them, and when I try to talk I just cry. I don't know what to do and what to feel and how to cope. 

  • Hello Milog, 

    You've come to the right place to talk to others who understand what you are going through. As you say, friends are not always very receptive and it's not easy either to talk to your family about it. Sometimes it's easier to offload on a forum where everyone has been affected by cancer and will be able to relate to how you are feeling at the moment. 

    Poor you that is so many of your relatives who have been diagnosed with cancer at the same time. I hope your grandad is doing ok in hospital and that he can start his chemotherapy treatment soon. It must be hard to take everything in and I am so sorry to hear about your nanny's diagnosis of inoperable pancreatic cancer. It's good you have managed to keep focused on your work - sometimes distraction does help but if you feel that this is getting a bit much for you to deal with emotionally, do talk to your GP about it as I am sure they will have some great suggestions for you. 

    Congratulations on your engagement although it must be really hard for you to focus on this at the moment whilst all this is happening at the same time. I hope that you are ok and have supportive friends and family around you to whom you can talk about how you are feeling. 

    I will now let our members come and say hello and share their insights with you based on their own individual experiences.

    Best wishes, 

    Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator