Hi, 

I'm 26, an only child and just live with my mum. My dad suddenly passed away 2 years ago and now I'm losing my mum to this horrible horrible disease, I ask myself daily why life is so cruel and unfair. I'm so scared of losing both my parents in such little time and being on my own, I'm so sad that they are going to miss out on me ever getting married, having children etc. It breaks my heart.

 
My mum is now bed bound, can't move, can't eat or drink, can't hold a conversation, we can't even touch her without her crying out, the only sounds that come out of her mouth are the sounds that she makes with every breath because she's in agony. Shes in agony all day and night and doesn't sleep unless she's been injected with oxycodone and midazolam but that only lasts 2 hours and then she's awake again and groaning out constantly until I ring the nurses to come back and inject her again. Nothing seems to be working, and I can't cope with seeing my mum like this any longer. 

I don't know what to do, I'm getting so frustrated and then I feel guilty, but I haven't slept properly for days, the constant groans are just making me lose the plot, I feel so ill. 

I don't understand why nothing is taking the pain away, my mum shouldn't have to spend the last time that she has got left like this, it's unbearable to watch and so so unfair. The nurses have now set up a syringe driver but I've still had to call them out numerous time to inject her again. The only time she's quiet is when she's sleeping, but all I want is for her to not be in any more pain. 
 

I don't really know what I want from this post but I just wanted to get it all off my chest and see if anyone has experienced anything similar and has got any help or advice that they could give me. 
 

Thanks x