Hi 

My Mum was suffering from chronic stomach pain for almost 4 years with no proper diagnosis.  She is a very fit and active person so the gp kept putting it down to acid reflux despite her never having heartburn.  She's only in her early 60's.

Over the past 18 months she has gotten much worse and lost a lot of weight, after a lot of back and forth with tests she was finally taken for more biopsies and further tests under ga.

Sadly last week we got the devastating diagnosis we were dreading, she has stage 4 stomach cancer with no cure. It's in her blood rather than a tumour.  We don't know the full details yet in terms of chemo options as she is waiting to see the cancer specialist but its terminal.

I'm completely lost. I do have my own family but it's only myself and my Mum and we are very close.

Although she's in more pain more regularly and is getting very tired, she rightly doesn't want me treating her like shes ill which I'm trying really really hard not to do.

My Mum is a very strong independent character who is very straight to the point, stubborn and will constantly say shes fine even though shes not. She doesn't want people faffing over her.

I've chatted with her MacMillan nurse who was very nice but I just don't know how to process this.  I've no idea how shes processing it, I seem to manage during the day but as soon as it gets to nightime I feel sick.  I wake every morning with absolute dread that shes not going to answer the phone or reply to a text. 

I don't want to worry or upset her but I don't know how long we've got. Is it normal not to want to know? 

Any advice on how to support a loved one is greatly appreciated. 

Xx