Lost and confused

Hi there my names Anna and I lost my mum to vulva cancer 3 years ago it was very sudden with time of death just six weeks after diagnosed. Last year at the start of the pandemic my dad was taken into hospital as he had collapsed whilst out shopping , there he was diagnosed with stage 4 bowel cancer , went through all the rounds of chemo and at last scan in January things were looking good and cancer seemed to have slowed however returned with a vegeance in April and had spread into his brain . My dad has been home for the passed few months with some hospital admissions in between . He recieves care at home but it's basic and minimal and not the care he needs . I feel I'm in an endless loop of phone calls with social work and care at home team with little response back, constantly trying to call the doctors surgery too and can never get through. Mcmillen are involved but have never seen them at the house yet . Does anyone else feel they have to seek out help by themselves and communication minimal from all the appropriate services .

  • Hello Annadolly10

    I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad's diagnosis and that things have deteriorated recently. It sounds like it's a difficult time for you all and I can sense the frustration in your post that there's not as much care and support as you all need. 

    Unfortunately, I'm sure that you won't be the only family member who has found themselves in this situation. It can be incredibly difficult when you're passed from pillar to post with minimal communication. 

    Does your Dad have a key worker or a named clinical nurse specialist? You mention that Macmillan is involved in your Dad'd care. Don't be afraid to get in touch with them as well to ask for additional support. 

    Alternatively, if you'd like to have a chat with one of our team of nruses you're most welcome to give them a call. Whilst they can't help on a practical level of getting things sorted for your Dad, I wonder if you might find it helpful to chat things through with them and get some support and advice about how best to move things forward. They're available Monday to Friday 9 am to 5 pm on 0808 800 4040. 

    I do hope that things improve for you both soon and that the care and support you both need is put in place. 

    Best wishes, 
    Jenn
    Cancer Chat moderator