Just reaching out

My 83 year old Daddy took ill towards the middle of last year. Parents live in Northern Ireland (where I'm from too), but I live in England. Obviously with covid I couldn't get to them, eventually got here in December for a week. Came back in January again as Dad had to have a scan, which is when they found a massive tumour. He was immediately operated on the next day fitting a stoma bag. Tumour had spread to liver too and surgery wasn't possible. He was eventually give 4 to 6 months. I haven't been back to England for 6 months as my brother moved here and we are his full time carers for mom too as she's 82. We're now near 6 months ahead and he sleeps sooo much and hardly eats. I give him his medication every four hours. He's quite delirious and angry at times too, which isn't like him at all. He's the most placed, sweetest soul you could ever meet. Other times he's his normal loving caring self. It's absolutely tearing us apart to watch him and it's surreal to think of what's ahead. Sorry to go on

  • Hello DonnaRos

    I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad's diagnosis and all that you're going through at the moment. It's obviously a very difficult time for you all. 

    I know from posts here on the forum that it's not uncommon for people's behaviour to change after they become ill. Your Dad probably won't be aware of the change in his behaviour. You might find it helps to understand by reading through this information on our website. 

    Looking after someone in the last weeks of life can be a huge emotional and physical challenge. It’s important to take time for yourself and get support. Being a carer can be emotionally and physically exhausting. I'm glad to hear that you have your brother with you as well and I hope that the two of you are able to support each other. You might find it useful to have a look at this information about caring for the carer. 

    If you'd like to talk to one of our team of nurses for some support at any point you're most welcome to call them on 0808 800 4040, Monday to Friday 9 am to 5 pm. 

    I hope this helps. Keep in touch with us here if you feel able to. 

    Best wishes, 
    Jenn
    Cancer Chat moderator