Hi everyone, 

I have spent the past few weeks reading post after post and trying to get my head around this awful disease which I was totally ignorant of. My dad who was otherwise fit and healthy (59) has just been diagnosed with stage 4 metastatic prostate cancer with a bone metastatis that has spread everywhere. They said he is terminal and said they cannot cure him so he is not getting any treatments except for a monthly hormone injection called degerelix (I think?) and steroids to control the cancer pressing on spine. 

We found out about his cancer because he started getting awful back pain, but dr kept saying its muscular take ibuprofen etc. Until one day he collaposed and we later found out that was due to something called a Spinal Cord Compression caused by the cancer pressing on nerves in his spine, he has not been able to walk since and lost feeling chest down. They do not know if his sensation will return. He has become emotional, confused, angry and genuinely I cannot recognise him. He speaks in a delusional way which one dr said could be because of the metasis in his head. He has got diabetes off the back of the cancer which is really high. Is the confusion permanent or because of the drugs?

His PSA level is currently 4700 which is extremely high - I understand that this means prognosis is bad for my dad. Yet, doctors are not that clear. One said he doesn't have long - we all broke down. Then today another said she was wrong and he might have years? It is two different things, dont know who to believe, but our doctors do not communicate well.

Some key information he is palliative care now, they have referred us to the hospice and given us a hospital bed etc for the house. An OT came and set it all up. It is so hard not knowing what is happening. Will we have quality time with dad, do people with cancer as advanced as this have quality of life and can they travel?

I am heartbroken and confused. I come into work after spending time with him and mum then cannot work. I feel so many emotions. I am so sad. Can anyone tell me what to expect? How long do we have left? I have a job offer to move abroad but now I am confused because I do not want to leave my dad if he is dying. 

Sorry for all the questions, I am not myself. Thank you for reading and sending love + prayers of healing to you all!