Cancer Research UK main site
  • Replies 5 replies
  • Views 570 views
  • Users 0 members are here

Rapid deterioration - advice

Clemmie81
Offline

Hi, 

my dad was diagnosed with lung cancer and has multiple subcutaneous nodules on his back, underarms and abdomen. The diagnosis came 4 weeks ago.
he has deteriorated very quickly since then and is in high doses of oxycodone for pain and dex was started 1 week ago.

he has had no response to the dex and the hospice want to wean it down which I know means he will continue to deteriorate. He hasn't eaten anything for 2 weeks and just drinks enough to take his meds. 
I have moved in with him to take care of him full time and see a change day by day. 
I just wondered what I might be able to expect in terms of changes in the coming weeks. I am worried I won't pick up on something important. He doesn't want to go into the hospice and wishes to die at home. 
 

thanks for any experiences you have that might help me, watching the man I love most in the world fade away is killing me. 

  • Offline

    I don't know what to say at all apart from what you're doing is amazing. x

  • Offline

    Hi Clemmie81

    I have a similar story with my dad, he had aggressive lung cancer and passed away within 5 months of diagnosis. I'm sure like me you are shell shocked but just trying to do your best for him. My heart goes out to you. Everyone's journey is different and I wdnt wish to advise but some tips that might help are to take any help you are offered when appropriate eg district nurses, social workers, palliative nurse, hospital equipment etc. My dad turned down a lot of help but it's hard to foresee needing it and it can take a few weeks to get organised. You can always turn help down if you don't need it.

    my dad also stopped eating he hated the liquid meals! Apart from iced water through a straw he liked the drops for oral thrush, as it was sweet and soothing. 

    I hope you have help and support of family/friends as this helps. If you have any questions just ask me, I hope this helps anyway. This forum is fabulous, really gave me comfort though this is my first time posting. 
     

    thinking of you and your dad, God bless

     

     
     

      

  • Offline in reply to astoria

    Thank you so much both of you for your kindness and Astoria for your experience. I'm so sorry for your loss, it's an unbelievably heavy burden, I hope you're finding your way.

    the local hospice are absolutely amazing, having them involved has been such a game changer both in terms of equipment and support. It's all just such uncharted waters and I'm scared of getting things wrong. 
     

    thank you so much for your support,

    Clemmie 

  • Offline in reply to Clemmie81

    Clemmie that's great to have the hospice on board, I've heard they are fantastic. It's only natural to be anxious as it's all new and scary and there's no instruction manual.  you're doing the best thing being by your dads side, that will bring him comfort, more than anything else.

    take care of yourself too, get out for a walk and fresh air when you can and eat regular, try to get enough sleep and get support from others.  You are stronger than you think and this forum too is full of lovely people that are here for you. 
     

    Best wishes to you and your dad 
     

  • I'm very sorry to hear about your dad Clemmie.

    I noticed you wanted to know what signs or changes to look out for in your dad, so I just thought I'd share some information we have about dying with cancer. It can be quite a tough read but I hope it will help to give you a general idea of what may happen.

    If you'd like to discuss any of this with one of our cancer nurses, they're available on 0808 800 4040, Monday - Friday between 9a.m - 5p.m.

    Sending strength and support to you and your dad at this difficult time.

    Kind regards,

    Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

Speak to a nurse

Quick links

Follow us

Registered with Fundraising Regulator (logo)
Cancer Research UK is a registered charity in England and Wales (1089464), Scotland (SC041666), the Isle of Man (1103) and Jersey (247). A company limited by guarantee. Registered company in England and Wales (4325234) and the Isle of Man (5713F). Registered address: 2 Redman Place, London, E20 1JQ.