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Making Memories: mum given a terminal diagnosis

Aktafica
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We have been told only yesterday that instead of the small tumor that was believed to be in the bowel is intact terminal sites of cancer and has been told a matter of weeks to live.

Her and my step fathers wishes are for her to spend her last days at home. I'm happy with this, we will have 4 x 1/2 hrs  per day carers in to help us care for her.

Although it has been a shock to be given a definate diagnosis, I think all 3 of us knew in our own way that there was something more.

I was hoping for advice on how to enjoy any make memories of the last days of her life?  I'm in a strange place at the moment I don't want the last few weeks to just be memories of  nursing, pain and death. I want to have something special to remember her by, just me and her.

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    Hello Aktafica and a warm welcome to Cancer Chat, 

    I am so sorry to hear about your mum's terminal diagnosis and what a lovely idea to want to spend the remaining days of her life making precious memories of her surrounded with those she loves in the comfort of her home. 

    I hope you won't mind but I have added the words 'making memories' to the title of your post - this will hopefully attract more relevant replies from members who have found themselves in a similar situation to you right now, and who have also spent time with their loved one and created special memories. I think you are right not to want these last few weeks to be just sad memories and I hope that you can enjoy every moment you have with your mum. 

    I will now let our members speak and share their experiences with you as I am sure they will have a lot of helpful suggestions for you based on their personal stories. 

    I just wanted you to know that we are thinking of you and your mum during this difficult time. 

    Best wishes, 

    Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

     

     

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    Hi

    Sorry to read your news.

    Last year whilst my dad was in a rehab centre every weekend I went and stayed with my mum to look after her so my brother had a break. I did manage to take her out a couple of times once to a garden centre and I pushed her round she wanted to look at everything and was like a child touching stuff we did laugh.

    At home we sat and went through old photos and chatted about places we had been. She also loved jigsaws but couldn't do large ones so I bought her some kids ones which went down well. I got her into baileys hot chocolate and cream and we made cakes. I didnt know then that 6 weeks later we would lose her.

    The time spent together was precious and I will always be grateful that I shared just simple things with her. I took 2 photos one of us when we were out and the other was for my dad as he couldn't see her (bloody covid) these to are precious.

    Hope this helps in a small way and I wish you all my love during this difficult time. 

    Message me if you need to chat.

    Louise xx

     

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