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Dad has a few months to live

Aentra
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Hi my dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer back in January 2019 it wasnt a shock as he had cancer lumps on his nose and his head a few years before , they operated and he was clear. During this time he had a heart attack and was really ill with it for a while, the doctors got him stable. 

Dads cancer got worst last year he wasnt able to have chemo his doctor could only give him tablets and injections these didnt work, he was on them for a few months he was getting worse, not only having prostate cancer his cancer had moved through his bones it has moved to his neck but now its started to go to his brain he has started forgetting things and he also has been having hallucinations.

Dad cant do much for himself at the moment since January this year he has really deteriorated quite fast the doctors have taken him off his medication to give him the best quality of life the thing that has made things worse is the the main valve to his heart is blocked and dad is to ill in himself to have open heart surgery to correct it as he would not make it and they cant give him chemo cause that would put to much pressure on his heart he also has other things wrong with him and hes to ill to have any treatment. 

He received a letter just before Christmas which told him they couldn't do any more for him and that he had a year left to live, my sister got in touch with his consultant and she apologised for reading it in a letter, but with dads blood count for his cancer has gone up quite alot in 2 months his consultant told her that dad has a few months left and won't make the year......

The thing I hate  the most I cant do anything for my dad at the moment with lockdown restriction in place, I live in the north east of the UK and my dad lives on the south coast over 325miles a part 

I feel so useless that I cant help to look after him I feel so guilty for not being there for him but that's enough about me. 

I'm just writing this post cause I just need to get it off my chest I know we're going to lose him soon we've known this for a while I know hes suffering I wish I could take his pain away but I know I cant.....

 

Thanks for listening

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    Hi, in a similar situation, my mum's nearing the end of her life. And I live about an hour away and her sister is looking after her, I've seen mum a few times over her diagnosis when I've been traveling past (she lives between where some of my freelance jobs are and home) 

     

    I last saw her 3 weeks ago, and again Monday just gone and noticed how bad she got, so I spoke to her and her sister who has cared for her this far, and I'm now staying here.

     

     

    I say just do it, or you'll regret it.

     

     

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    Hello

    I am sorry to hear about your father. Last week my dad was diagnosed with advanced prostate cancer, which has spread to his bones, lungs and lymph glands - total shock to us. We don’t know how long he has to live. My mum is elderly and couldn’t cope. They live 80 miles away in a retirement complex: my sister and l did not think twice we about going there: we got permission from the manager  and take it in turns to stay with them. We have both had the vaccine. If you can have the vaccine or get tested for Covid: you should go to him: I think you may regret it if you don’t. My dad had 3500 PSA count and had his first hormone therapy injection. He is so tired. Please go to him: you have a valid reason in case the police stopped you. Take care.

  • Offline in reply to Mark41900

    Hi Mark

    Thanks for reading my post it's nice that you got to see your mum on  Monday.

    It's quite a shock when you see how they really are. I call my dad every week he tells me off if I phone to often lol just cant wait until this lockdown is over so I can spend time with him

    My thoughts go out to you and your family at this testing time

  • Offline in reply to BAMBI10

    Hi sorry to hear about your father it is a total shock when you find out, even though he was diagnosed back in Jan 2019 we can see how hes deteriorated over the 2yrs just cant believe how much hes gone down since Christmas. I got tested for covid tested the other week and I've had my first vaccination 26th February I get my second the end of May.

    Thank you for reading my post my thoughts go out to you and your family

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