Terminal cancerous brain tumour

My dad is 56 years old. 4 months ago he was the most intelligent man I knew in the world. A successful self made private man. He was decided for a hobby to drive buses. He was driving his bus 4 months ago and had a very small accident and became very disorientated afterwards. He was taken to hospital and found a brain tumour. He had it removed in December and then was told its incurable cancer and has 16 months to live. He had 3 weeks of intense radiotherapy which ended 5 weeks ago but is now in hospital after his 4th sezuire, becoming lost and confused, can barely dress himself, losing his dignity and now refusing his anti sezuire drugs and steroids. It seems to be happening ever so fast. Im 35 years old with 3 teenage daughters and im not coping with this. I know it sounds selfish considering but all im doing is crying and have zero energy. I made it in to work today but don't think I can carry on. All I keep thinking is im never going to get to call him dad again, never going to have a fathers day again never going to be at my wedding etc im so overwhelmed im terrified I won't cope when he's gone as im not coping now. Ive never exoerienced this living hell this torture this pain. I just want my dad back

  • Hi

    Im so sorry to hear that you're going through this. My dad was also diagnosed with an incurable brain tumour a few months ago. He is 58 and was completely fit and well so was a massive shock to all of us.

    You are not being selfish for feeling like that. It's surely the hardest thing in the world to be given news like this. The fact you made it into work is amazing. I get days where I don't want to get up because the thought of losing him is just to hard to comprehend, but then other days are better. I think you just have to take each day as comes and seek help if you need it. Does your dad have a specialist nurse? The hospital should be able to give you contacts for help and support if that was something that could maybe help. I think Macmillan are really good with that as well. 
    x

  • Hello I am sorry for your dad.i am 43 but was diagnosed in Oct 2020 with brain mets.i wasn't offered surgery only radiotherapy which didn't help me with my right hand and I give up anybody will help me with that.

    I was offered with palliative care but I refused to come to my home some stranger.I don't need a care so I don't know what they are talking about.

    Its hard with your dad because its a bit like me I get bit more emotional and moody with my husband i even shouting with him.My doctor didn't tell me the prognosis and don't want to ask because everybody is different.your dad is different too so please don't give up.I have stopped to take the steroids because I was feeling more psychotic I feeling much better without them.

     

    Denise

     

  • Sorry Its taken so long to reply.

     

    Dads now in hospice, diagnosed November 2020 had brain surgery had radiation and now he's receiving end of life care in a hospice. Lost ability to walk can barely see his tongue muscles aren't working very well hes delirious he can't hold a cup or feed himself he can't move he's extremely agitated he's on a driver with morphine steroids and levo going through it. From six months ago being a property developer and a bus driver to now end of life care. I turn 35 next month and its fathers day next month and can't imagine I'll celebrate that ever again. My little sister is only 14 my kids are so young too its all round just a nasty cruel horrible world. Hes never been ill never been in hospital a good honest decent man and this is how life repays him.