Hi all

I'm looking for some advice or perspectives from people who may have had to make similar decisions. Or even just a supportive ear or two!

A close relative of mine has spent the last few decades living in what I can only describe as a completely uninhabitable house, which they own outright. They have a myriad of physical and (most probably) mental health issues, and we've done our best trying to support them in recent years because they don't earn very much and would very much be classed as living in poverty. The house is in a complete state and is not just full of 'things' but also general waste, food, etc.

A couple of weeks ago, we found out that this person has cancer, and it has since transpired that the tumor is quite large and there are possible complications which might make palliative chemo the only option. I've moved them in with me for the time being to make sure they're okay emotionally, but also because the cancer means they can't eat solid foods and because of their lifestyle, I don't think they would be able to keep up a liquid diet and look after themselves properly.

Were still waiting for more scans and information on our options, but we're now wondering what to do about their living situation. Given the way the doctors have spoken to us about the situation so far, I'm trying to prepare myself for this person to be very, very poorly. It's clear to me that my relative needs somewhere more manageable, like a flat, which would also make caring for them easier.

I just don't know what the best approach is - we had initially thought that selling the house and renting somewhere near us would  with solve the problem of the house and also free up cash to mean that we as a family didn't have to worry about the financial side of things if this person can no longer work etc. But today we were told by adult social services that they may be entitled to some kind of financial support, but of course wouldn't get this if they had a lump sum of cash in the bank.

I'm at a bit of a loss and had really hoped to move on this soon so that my relative was both safe and comfortable going into treatment, but also for my own mental health having to look after them in my own home.

Not expecting anyone to have the answers, but would be really interested in hearing what other people have done in similar situations, or what they had done of they couldn't work anymore.

Thanks all!