Zabel, I know how you feel. After each session of chemo my husband has, I feel so alone. We are like passing ships in the night. He goes to bed early and when I go too bed he gets up and go into the front room. For the first 7-10 days after chemo, he is in so much pain and goes off his food and no matter how I try and help him, I feel useless. My husband first started Chemo in July 2020. The first couple of sessions he snap at me for the slightless reason. That was hard has he was never like that before. I was affraid to say anything or do anything whilst he was awake. By beginning  of september I told him we were going away for a week at the end of september, so there would be no chemo, no appointments or phone calls. Just us together because i could not take anymore of this. My mental health was low and I just could not cope anymore. So we went away spent 7 days 24/7 together and it was the best thing i did. We talked about life, us and the cancer, we did fishing which we both missed and we went for nice walks. And he made sure that he looked after me. And after that each chemo session I feel he is taking my feelings into consideration. And now, he sometimes apologies for not being able to help or do the cooking because he feels so bad. And when he can we go for walks and talk. On thursday we get to hear what they are going to do with his thyroid cancer. But even now I still cry myself to sleep. So I am sending you both healing love and light and pray that all goes well for your husband. Its going to be tough on both off you, please remember to talk about everything and try and spend time together when he is not too bad and if you can once lockdown is over try and get away for a few day somewhere where you can both relax and talk about the Cancer .And if you have family around. Get them to help you both as much as possible.  I am here if you need to chat.