My Mum Has Weeks To Live

My Mum was diagnosed with Lung Cancer that was in the bones as well. 

Two weeks ago, we were told that it had spread to the brain as well and was Stage 4.

Today, we were told that it had now spread everywhere and that she has weeks to live.

I was heartbroken firstly, then I experienced lots of anger, then numbness and shock and now, it's acceptance.

She is in minimal pain and has Morphine to handle it. 

We haven't told her that she has weeks to live as she wouldn't be able to handle it, she would just give up. 

Is this the right thing to do to spare her having to spend the time she has left in a black hole?

Has anybody been through something similar? What can I expect? 

  • Hi

    I am so sorry to hear about your mum. I'm in a similar position expect my MIL knows she only has 6-8 weeks. I can't tell you if I would tell your mum or not as I don't know what I'd do if I was in your situation so I'm so sorry I can't help.
     

    I can tell you that even know my MIL knows, she isn't doing anything differently or trying to tick off any bucket list because of the lockdowns. If anything it's made her so much worse knowing as she knows she won't get to do all the things she wanted and may not see her grand babies born in a few months but it has helped put things in place for her kids when she has gone. I suppose it depends on your situation and how well your mum is coping with the symptoms. You know your mum best so I'd say to go with your gut. I'm so sorry I can't help :( is your mum still mobile and have doctors told you what to expecting in the following weeks?x

  • Hi, 

    I feel for you right now. 

    She isn't mobile because she is so weak. What is killing me is that she keeps asking when she will have Chemo, but, she said that if she is told that she can't have it, she'll give up. 

    No, all the doctor said is that it's in her lungs, brain, bones, spleen, liver, stomach, skin. They said weeks. They won't speculate as it could be 2 weeks or it could be 10 weeks. 

    What hurts the most is that she won't be around to meet my children. My Dad passed in 2017, so he didn't either. The same with my Nan in 2015.

    Thank you for replying with your own experience with this horrible thing. 

  • Hi 

    That must be so difficult for you to see your mum like that! 
     

    Will your mum have any appointments with her doctors/oncology where she will discuss this? Have you had a discussion with doctors about whether there is any treatment they can try? it might be worth having that conversation first so you know whether you have some options and give her a reason not to give up. 

    I am so sorry to hear about your family. It's heartbreaking :( I can only imagine how your feeling. I'm due in a few months with twins and I'm worried she won't be here to meet them either. We were due to get married but had to postpone that aswell. My partners dad passed away last year and now his mum all before he's 30. Do you have a good support network like a partner/friends? 

    im sorry again you're having to go through this. 

     

     

     

     

  • She has an appointment next Wednesday. 

    They said that any treatment would be useless as the cancer has spread too far. 

    Thank you for your kind support. I have an older Sister, who doesn't live with us and my Step Dad. My Sister is 35, there is 12 years between us.

    Im sorry to hear about your situation too. That must be hard to deal with. 

  • If she has an appointment next Wednesday then she's more than likely going to find out but I really hope your mum keeps fighting and I am so sorry they can't offer any treatment :( 

     

     

  • Hi!

    My Mum had her appointment today.

    They are starting her on Radiotherapy next week to shrink the tumours in the brain. 

    After that, they are starting her on Chemotherapy and Immunotherapy to tackle the rest of the body. 

    With this treatment, her lifespan is 1 year plus. 

    I wanted to thank you for your support during this tough time and I hope that you are doing as well as you can too. 

  • Hi 

    Thank you for getting back to me. 
    I am so pleased they are trying treatment which will give your mum some more time ️ 
    There's no nice outcome in these situations but this is certainly better than it was. 
    we are all doing ok thank you just making the most of the time we have. 
    If you ever want to chat, please feel free to message  
     

  • Time is all we can hope for now. 

    Thank you very much and the same goes for you. If you need to chat about anything.