Hello Kirsta,

                      so sorry to read that your Dad is unable to get an operation to remove the tumour in his liver ,due to its location,and that chemo was not having any impact.Its a horrible position to find yourselves in, and having no clear vision with regard to the future feels like such a brutal injustice.Sadly that is the nature of this beast called cancer,it affects individuals so differently making it impossible to use anything other than a very big brush when it comes to facts,but knowing this does nothing to make it any easier,and frustration leads to increased stress which is debilitating in its own right.

                                                                                                                                      like anyone else l could not,nor would wish to comment on future events or timing,and l think the only definite answers you will have will be with hindsight.All you can do is focus your energies on the present to make his life as bearable as possible,leave the "what will be" to become "what has Been" and make the present the very best you possibly can.

                                     Remember that you cannot alter the destination your Dad is travelling towards,and you have to take care of yourself and son in all of this you are both his future and legacy,

                                                                               l wish it could be different,

                                                                                                                            David

Hi David, 

thanks for your reply, comforting as always. It sucks, like everyone else in this awful position im not ready to loose him, none of us are, im finding each day harder and harder seeing him in so much pain. 
 

my sisters live seperatly to myself and parents and sometimes im jelaous id love a break from this, sounds selfish doesnt it, considering what his going through. I wasnt sure what i was expecting i know every person is different, i just hate all this unknown. 
sometimes it feels like a really bad nightmare, not being able to help him breaks me, arghhh 

thank you again for your reply, it means a lot xx

Keep fighting for help and for yourself.

Take anything that's offered to you even if you dont need it yet. Someone gave me that advice and it's the best one yet. Self refer yourself to every cancer and carer charity or organisation you can. Ask them questions, tell them what's going on what you need they can put things in place. Have a good cry at them I've done it lots they are used to it.

Most of all easier said than done make time for you, doesn't have to be long. Mine is taking a travel mug of tea or getting a drive through Costa then going to a small carpark near a park and reading my kindle. When the weather warms up I might get out and find a bench, depending on how many people are about.

Big hugs xxx