I'm sorry to hear your struggling with your mams prognosis,

I have just been diagnosed with stage 4breast cancer and I'm not sure how long I have left, I have 2 daughters in there twentys and they are my main concern at this difficult time, I worry how they will cope without me but I take great comfort in the fact they are strong independent girls and I tell them all I want for them is to have a happy life which I'm sure they will ,

I know everyone copes with things differently but please be strong for your mam I'm sure she to will take comfort in knowing you will be ok because she to will be very worried about you

Takecarex

Thank you so much for replying to my post, I honestly appreciate it so much!! I think for me one of the worst things is thinking that my mum will spend her last few weeks or months worrying about me and whether I will be ok 

I've been through hell in my past relationship and with other major events in my life but I've always fought through and kept my head up and these past few months I've lost that fighting spirit but I can see that if my mum is fighting until the end then the least I can do is to keep fighting along with her.

I am in awe at you, fighting every day yet still trying to help soothe others by posting here and replying to me!!!!

If I could give you one piece of advice from the child's point of view  of a parent fighting cancer (I'm a parent myself too) It would be this........ No matter your diagnosis or prognosis,  make a memory box, photos, jewellery, child's first tooth, first hair cut clipping (we as mothers know that we save this stuff lol) a heartfelt honest letter. These are the things that that we will hold dear and look upon day after day and draw strength from!

I know my mother hasn't done any of these things but she loves me dearly, of that I'm sure!! She's just from an era where feelings weren't discussed at all and I understand that. 

I feel guilt that I can't help my mother, I'm sure your daughters feel that too sometimes but cancer doesn't care about feelings, wealth, family, love etc.

Thank you so much for replying to my post, I truly appreciate it xx

Hi 

I thank you , it's really good to hear things from a child's point of view, I have started a memory box for them both I just hope it makes them happy not sad, . I understand your mams from a different generation that don't show feelings my dad was the same , I think that made me be the opposite with my girls , I hope your the same with your children we must cry laugh make memorys together , but you know your mams loves you dearly and you must let her know you know this,talk about the good times you have had and try to laugh and joke about things ( very difficult I know) but it does help to get us through, 

You really shouldn't feel guilty there's really nothing we can do  but be there for each other ,get that fighting spirit back and show your mam how strong you are and how much you love her

 Thinking of you and your mam xxx

I really feel for you as my mum is in a similar position and only recently been diagnosed with an aggressive cancer and she doesn't have long left.  I can't accept it and have felt so emotional and angry. Like you, my mum is my best friend and i dont know how i'll cope without her. I know i'll have to, but it's hard.  Just try and look after yourself as best you can t this difficult time  as your Mum would want you to. sending you lots of love x

My mum passed away on February 18th, in her own bed at home.   Years of fighting Cancer and it just seems like it was all a waste of time. I've been strangely ok with things since she passed and thats what worries me. I'm worried that it hasn't hit me yet or I'm mentally not accepting it at all or maybe I accepted it long ago, I just don't know.  She was my best friend, I saw or spoke to her every single day but I just feel numb and I feel very uncomfortable with that 

I was wrong in what I said about saving the first tooth etc and how I knew my mother wouldn't have saved those things. After looking through sentimental items she had kept over the years (it turns out that she saved EVERYTHING) I was shocked,  the smallest things have given me so much comfort. One thing I wished she had done was to write me and my kids a letter that we could read when she was gone

I found out that around 3 weeks ago that my mum only has according to doctors around 3 months left to live she was diagnosed about 4 weeks ago with ovarian cancer but they had to remove her bowel as the cancer has spread last week she was admitted to hospital with an infection and has since gone back home but she has been told that the cancer has spread up both sides of her body and I'm having a hard time getting my head round things especially when my mum is sat with me saying she is not ready to die she doesn't want to die , and I don't want her to either but it sounds like I'm being selfish I've only just got my mum back after we fell out some years ago and I don't know what to do or how to deal with this 

Hi Stevepete1,

Welcome to Cancer Chat. I'm so sorry to hear about your mum - this must be an incredibly difficult time.

I just wanted to send a reply to note that OverARainbow hasn't been active on the forum for a little while now. You may still receive a reply, but if not then you can always create your own new discussion on the forum, in order to hopefully get some more replies and support from others here.

Wishing you all the best,

Ben
Cancer Chat Moderator