How to act around someone with cancer

Hi was hoping someone can give me some advice. My loving husband of 24 years has been diagnosed with stage four stomach cancer just a month ago. It is absolutely devastated. He starts radiotherapy next week for five days. I am really struggling on how I behave around him all I want to do is cry I feel like I have lost the man he was sorry if that sounds awful but that's the only way I can describe it I feel like any plans for our future is fading away.My husband is very strong he says he's ready to fight and take any treatment they offer him. I feel awful just getting on with things because I feel like everything is trivial. I don't know what to expect with the radiotherapy side effects. Im so scared I have never been more frightened in my whole life . We have just found out it will be a few weeks after radiotherapy that he will beable to have chemotherapy because he's still not strong enough he's getting over covid aswell this world is so cruel 

  • Hello Busby666, 

    I am so sorry to hear about your husband's diagnosis. I can totally understand why you are feeling devastated by the sad news and it can be hard to know what to do and how to behave in front of him after the overwhelming shock of the news. It's good your husband is keeping strong and determined to fight and I hope that you find out soon what his treatment plan might be. I am sure that you will find the strength to be there for your husband and to be an amazing source of support for him. You can find out more about how to support a loved one with cancer whilst at the same time making sure you also look after yourself on this page . There is also detailed information on our website here about treatment for stomach cancer and in particular you can find out more about radiotherapy for stomach cancer in this section of our website and about radiotherapy side effects here.

    I hope that your poor husband gets strong enough soon to be able to have chemotherapy - how unfortunate that on top of everything that has happened to him, he is also getting over covid at the moment. I hope he recovers quickly from it. 

    Hopefully you will hear from others soon who have also looked after a loved one who  have had a similar diagnosis and who will share their stories and experiences with you. 

    We're all here for you if you need to talk and if you would like to ask our nurses any question about your husband's treatment or anything that springs to your mind, you can reach them on this free number 0808 800 4040 - their line is open Monday to Friday from 9am to 5pm. 

    Best wishes, 

    Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator