Hi, I am not in exactly the same position as you, but can relate to a lot of what you say (especially the menopause bit) its an awful illness, my husband has oesophageal cancer and mets to lung, lymph nodes in his chest. He is struggling with tiredness sickness and not eating due to lack of appetite (and also stubborn!) its soul destroying to see our lovely partners so poorly isnt it, especially when we cannot even see relatives or friends for support. Must have been a terrible shock about your husbands brain, am really very sorry. I hope his treatment goes ok, and am also sending a big hug to you as I know you need it. Here anytime you need a rant! Take care.

Hi I had breast cancer mets in my lungs on chemo since August 2019 and tumors shrinking.t

I am 43,went in October to the oncologist with some dizziness and couldn't move my right hand.So I had brain mri and they found 4 tumors.i had 10 days or whole brain radiotherapy.Never ever.it was awful.Side effects I mean.i had 2x black out,1 x police found me on the street and 1x i found myself at home,I just wake up on the floor.Then I was sick 2x like a dog and I refused to eat.

It was awful.Now I am on chemo tablets which I tolerate well,have no side effects.

If you want ask something I am free to ask

Hi Jj5k,

Thanks for sharing your story, I can only imagine the trauma you are both going through. It is always particularly cruel when good news after treatment is followed by unexpectedly bad news. Everyone's worst nightmare. 

Never apologise for ranting on here - it is a safe place to do so and we all need an outlet away from our loved ones. 

Have you had the opportunity to discuss your finances with your husband? When I was diagnosed and given a poor prognosis my wife and had a difficult conversation on the topic. This culminated in me putting together a folder containing all our insurance, mortgage, bank, building society and utility bill details. This may seem a little cold, but it helped provide some assurance that if I were to die the situation wouldn't be quite so dire as she imagined. We had already written both our wills - again this helps avoid any future problems. 

The old adage "hope for the best and plan for the worst" has never been more appropriate.

Good luck with the radio therapy - I really hope it goes well. 

Best wishes

Dave

Thanks for replying

ive actually been following your story...... kept telling my husband about how well you had been doing.

We are all just shocked as brain mets  are not a usual occurrence with this type of cancer.

We were told that all the other tumours in the body are reacting well and behaving themselves. Just typical that something else goes wrong. ( our journey so far has had everything possible go wrong but he has managed to overcome it all)

As for finances...... we have no life insurance , no pension ( work place pension worth about 8k). Currently live in parents in laws house that they are planning to sell as they now live abroad.

All that stuff will figure itself out. No other thing to be done about that really

I much to my shame have been a stay at home mum ( I also care for husbands nana who is 96). I'm just having a panic about who would employ me for anything!

All that stuff is just life that needs to be sorted . It will be ok.

im just worried that my husband will end up worse and I won't be able to cope.

Suppose got to just get on with things I suppose.

Im sure everybody having their own struggles right now just got a bit open with my thoughts after the wine last night. ( doesn't happen often!)

Antway thank you for all replies .