Hi there ...

So so sorry your going through this heartbraking time at the moment.... that is really hard on your poor mum ... I think if you call their G P ... and maybe McMillan and tell them both your mum cannot cope ... and your dad needs to go back to the hospice ... they are really lovely places and I'm sure they will have the care your dad needs ... don't give up ... be gently firm for your mum .... good luck ... Chrissie...

Hi Chrisse , I got the McMillan nurse round from the hospice yesterday, she said she can't make the decision it needs to go to her managers, but I'm going to get on too his gp Monday to see what he can do xx 

Dads had a really really bad night!! Had my mum up since 3 o'clock his asking where my sisters are??? His really really confused!!!! I can't let him suffer like this anymore, and I'm so scared he pass in the night , whilst my mum is alone..... it's so hard because she doesn't want any us staying over night with her x

Oh my ... I can't imagine how hard this must be for you ... either your mum wants to do this alone or she's trying to protect you ... as mum's do ... I wish I had an answer ... all I think is talk to your mum.. call her .. listen to how she's feeling ... tomorrow you can call Marrie Currie.... they are there to help those in the last stages and their families ... go on their site ... they may have practical advice and listen to how you feel ... hold on in there ... sending you a vertual hug... Chrissie x

Hi the gp was a waste of time saying if my dad could eat a little but often !!!! It's so bloody frustrating my dads not eating or drinking a thing  and will not !! Spoke to the hospice they haven't got a bed for my dad !!! I'm literally at my wits end !!! I wouldn't let my dog suffer the way my dad is.....

Hi there ... 

Sadly I've heard this before where the system stinks ... there was another lass on here who went through the same ... you must feel like your banging your head on a wall ..

What I would add, is when we lost my sister with dementure .. it was a long hard road those last month's.. in the final week she could no longer eat or even drink .. we got some lip swabs ... where we made some water with a hint of blackcurrant ... and wet her lips and mouth often .. really gently ..

I think looking back her body was shutting down ... she didn't want to carry on in so much pain .. she slept nearly all day .. we held her hand and made her comfortable ... we told them to stop her pain .. and they kept on top of her meds ... we were lucky .. but her daughter never left her .. even sleeping in the hospital ... and we had to calmly fight in her corner all the way .. I'm sure the nurses wernt happy bout us never leaving her .. that was just before covid came in last year ..

Did you call Marie Currie... they can be a god send ... try to concentrate on his pain more then his eating .. though I know how hard that is .. hold on hunny .. your not alone .. I can't change things but I'll listen and send a vertual hug.... Chrissie x

I'm so sorry to read this. I went through exactly the same with my dad. His GP care was awful and he only saw a GP the day before he died as they wouldn't come in the house. 
 

we got a district nurse (neighbourhood team where I live) to do an assessment and I had to fight for a hospice bed after the acute trust discharged him for quality of care  

It's a very small view - dying at home with scared relatives and unable to get any health professional or even carers to see you face to face is also a poor quality death compared to a hospice that has specialist people at hand to support and not have to wait 30mins for the correct syringe driver to be set up.  
 

i would say keep fighting.  I was asking for admission to community hospital bed if not hospice as it was an admission avoidance to the acute where he didn't want to go but he was too poorly to stay at home  

i hope things get sorted xx

So now they have suggested a nursing home!! But this is a slow process because of Covid most nursing homes are not taking in new patients!! It's such a frustrating time , I just feel really let down my all the medical professionals!!! Xx thank for reading my message and I'm sorry for the loss of your dad . Xx

So yesterday I had a extremely exhausting and upsetting day, me and my sister went to look after dad, my mum had to go out . Dad is now bed bound and only gets up to use the toilet, he slept most of the time, but woke up confused asking what day it was and the time , I told him it's Wednesday and it was 2.45 to which he replied what 2.45 in the morning really really confused!!!! So me and my sister got him out the bed his so frail and weak weighs around 6 stone !! We helped him into the toilet it was very distressing for me as my dad is such a proud and holds dignity, but this as all disappeared I got him on the toilet and I said dad I'll turn around with my back to him, he said oh don't worry I then got him up with all of him exposed my poor dad it just breaks my heart that he is is like this.