The Drs have said my mum has 3-6 months!!!!

My mum was first diagnosed with cancer when I was 15 years old. The first time she fought her breast cancer however Unfortunately her cancer came back and has now spread. After several treatments we've come to a stage where unfortunately no treatment is able to control all the cancer. For example the treatment helps control the growth of cancer in some areas and no the other. Myself and my family are more than devasted and never thought we would be here. Reccently we were told that my mum has 3-6 months to live and my mum has decided that when the time comes she would like to be at the hospice which is another thing that had broken my heart knowing that she doesn't want to stay at home but i understand it is up to her. My mum has deteriorated a vast amount and I can clearly see. For someone who has very independent and hated getting help is not struggling to climb the stairs and mainly stays in bed. It kills me to see my mum like this because I've never seen her in such a state. I feel mentally and physically exhausted, I can barely sleep at night and often find my self crying myself to sleep bevause I can't help but overthinking the situation and thought of not having my mum around. The main issue for me is that I feel I need time off work but I'm not sure how to go about it. I'm 24 years of age and I want to spend as much time as I can with my mum, I don't want to regret not spending time with her. I currently live with my mum however I work in the hospital as a nurse myself (been a year since I've qualified) and with this coronovirus I'm more stressed of bringing it home and passing it over to my mum who is already weak enough. It's funny because as nurses we are meant to be strong but really I can't help breaking down every so often. I barely sleep because there are times during the night my mum calls out or sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night in panick thinking somethings happened to her.  I'm very stressed out. I aim to speak to my manager but I don't know what to expect. 

  • hello

    I am sorry about your mum - you are doing amazing looking after her.  I am a mum, older than you and caring for  my own mum - similair story she has 3-6 months.  first I imagine your mum has the plan re the hospice to protect  you and to make things less difficult for you.  You may take it as a rejection but i am sure it is not and its a mother's love.  Also a hospice at the end would give you both quality time together supported by teams that know how to make your mums passing peaceful and restful for you both.  You need to look after your own well being and whilst times are difficult in the country  if you are feeling stressed you should  speak to your  gp and possibly take some time off work.  wishing you all the best x 

  • Thankyou for your support and reply. You're right crying is such a stress reliever. I hope things are going easy for you too and good luck x

  • You're right, I have no doubt that my mum is doing this for the benefit of us but soemtimes things are really hard to accept and i just want to hold on to her forever and I'm sure the case is the same with you. No matter how old you get you will always need your mum. I hope you and your family are well, it's such a same that such a illness exist. I will speak to my manager to try and get some time off. I wish you the best too and hope things are easier for you x