Hello,

I'm 23 years old and the sole carer for my 54 year old father, who has terminal esophagial cancer with mets to the lungs, liver and lymphatic system. 

He was diagnosed a year ago almost exactly, and still refuses to give consent for the hospice to intervene- I have been in contact with them and had counselling myself, but he won't agree to see anyone. He takes codiene regularly and says it helps, but he is so stubborn and unwilling to admit whether or not it is helping fully- I would guess not from his facial expressions.

I've noticed recently that he is increasingly breathless, almost hyperventilating trying to get up the stairs, having extreme coughing fits and swelling in his left arm and both lower legs. 

He is still aware, independent with personal care (but very slow) and seems to generally reject the idea that he is dying. He spends most of his time on the sofa, sleeping on and off throughout the day but occasionally potters around the kitchen.

I have seen a decline lately, and he has very limited appetite but is still eating small amounts. 

I was wondering if anyone else has experience with this, or could give a generalised indication of how much time we might be looking at? Being in lockdown and with him adamantly refusing to talk to or see any medical professionals,  I am left in this sort of limbo of not knowing what to expect- no one seemed to think he'd live this long.

Also if anyone could suggest any ideas of how I could encourage him to consent to hospice intervention, as I am worried that he will decline quickly and without support unless he gives the go ahead soon.

Thank you in advance! X