Son Refusing Cancer Treatment

Last week my 22 year old son was diagnosed with stage 2 liver cancer. He has a 3.4cm tumour which has grown into the nearby blood vessels of the liver. First of all I still haven't processed what is going on or accepted how this can even be happening myself. Nor do I even understand it properly so I am hoping I am explaining the situation correctly.

They explained to us his options which they recommended something called chemoembolisation which they said is a form of direct chemotherapy and the possibility of a liver transplant once the tumour has shrunk enough to remove in surgery depending on the response. They are worried that the cells will become more aggressive and the tumour spread to other organs nearby in the time frame needed for some of the other options

I don't understand what is going on with my son. From the outlook he seems to have given up before we have even started and says that if he has got cancer at his age then the rest of life could revolve around it or keep coming back and would rather get it over with. This is my first experience with a close family member with this horrible disease and I am still only starting to learn everything as I go along. Despite my best efforts to explain that there is treatment and we will get through this he is refusing to agree to it and wants to let the disease take its course naturally and make the most of the time he has. He says he is accepting it and I should respect his decision. The consultant has stressed to him that without any treatment the disease will most probably progress very quickly over the coming months and reach a point of no turning back.

I've spoken to friends and family about this and they are equally as clueless about what to do. Has anyone been in this situation or know how I can get through to him that he can still live a full life as much as anyone else? Highly appreciate any help and advice x

  • So, so hard for you to be fighting for your son when he seems to have given up at the first hurdle.  So what to do, my husband now has liver cancer aged 74 a result of lung cancer.  He was treated from March this year with immunotherapy and is doing well, so perhaps your son has heard the worst case scenario and ignored any options that could help him, he is young and needs to take a chance on what is on offer, but he maybe scared of not being able to cope and feel that it's easier not to fight.  We were given a 7% chance four years ago so yes you can fight and live and hope that treatments improve which is looking to the future.  I hope he changes his mind but I feel he is old enough to make his own decision and you know sometimes people become more stubborn the more you push your view on them.  Please let us know how you get on.  My thoughts and best wishes for a better outcome for you all. Carol 

  • Could you get him to agree just to the first step? Try to break it down?

    It sounds like he is overwhelmed, not surpringly, and you could say that you respect his decision but the you would like him to have a bit more time to be sure of it and in the meantime, the first part of the treatment should go ahead just in case he changes his mind.

    All my thoughts are with you.

     

    Joy